~ five

Outside as the villains unload from their signature cars in costume one by one, all likely insane and one by one heading into the warehouse.
____

Now crowded inside, sign by the door says 'No Banter'. ~

Eddie - "Wait.  All of you.  And None of you could kill them ?  Have you never like ... tried ?  You know, like 'teamed up' before ?"

Number Nine - "Every combination and configuration but we never did try just doing simple hits off guard, one by one."

Alien Agenda (Ambrose from Diver Deep with a mask) - "It took a weak human to think of it.  We all were thinking about honor and such."

Colonel Calibrate - "The challenge ... heh."

Eddie - "Huh.  We I just can't fucking stand them.  Let's get it done."

The Minister (Switchblade) - "The problem is, they are truly like that.  That which you hate about them, incestuous whores though they may be, that insidious laughter and bravado ... it's the way they really are."

Eddie - "God I knew it ... it was easier to accept when I though they were full of shit but then one interview I realized.  They were not fucking with me."

Alien Agenda - "That's the horrifying reality.  So long as they are so unbelievably inane, fate itself seem to protect them.  But poisoning them.  Ha !  Love it."

Eddie - "Yeah I don't know if that'll work on all of them."

Organica (screaming stewardess) - "Better than that.  What about expanding food ?  On contact with saliva it grows and clogs the throat ... they'll be dead of no air before the first ambulance and they'd have to slit their throats to remove it.  So at least there'd be that."

They nod considering the suffering ...

Eddie - "Won't work on The Rock though ... "

Calibrate - "Hand grenade."

Eddie - "Seriously ?"

Colonel Calibrate - "Took a chip off his shoulder once."

Number Nine - "I remember that.  Good times.  Which team up was that ?"

Colonel Calibrate - "Legion of Legions."

The Minister - "I read about that one in the paper."

Eddie - "Yeah I took the pictures, the five are the ones who destroyed that side of town ... hey what's your power again ?"

The Minister - Grins ... "Wrath."

Number Nine - "Oh yeah he makes good wrath."

The Minister - "But you'll never find them before the bullet."

Colonel Calibrate - "Worse than bullet proof.  You just don't happen to hit them."

Alien Agenda - "Because they're morons."

Eddie - "I actually get that.  So the key is bringing them to the bullet."

Colonel Calibrate - "And hand grenades."
________________

Maria - "Late night celebrating your front page shot ?"

Eddie - "Concocting my master plan to kill the Fabulous Five."

Maria - "God I wish.  To never have to interview a fucking rock again ... "

Eddie - A laugh, "Working on it.  Going out or staying in ?"

Maria - "Let's stay in."

Eddie - "No news."

Maria - "Pinky promise."

Eddie - Voiced over, "And so we set to it."
____________

Colonel Calibrate - Loads his .303 with his eye down the scope.  "One by one."
____

Number Nine - Dressed as flower deliverer, to the Fabulous tower receptionist, "Well hello there."

Receptionist - Sees him and smiles, "Well hi !  Flowers for the team ?  Let me guess.  The Divisible Girl."

Number Nine - "Actually, they're for you."  A wry smile, "Apparently someone's got a crush."

Receptionist - Looks into him, "Someone."

Number Nine - "You wouldn't have buzzed me in without the costume."

Receptionist - "We all like costumes here."  Looks to the next receptionist coming on shift to relieve her, smiles back at Number Nine.
____

The flowers drop to the glorious sounds of fucking in the break room (where another employee walks in and grabs a soda from the fridge, opens it and takes a drink watching them ... then leaves).  

The flowers grow, sprouting into Organica.  She watches a sec, a look to the fridge, grabs a soda and leaves.
____

At the Fabulous dinner table, the five laugh at likely a horrible joke which you will be spared, then down to feed ~

Divisible Girl (Miserella) - "Wow this is good.  Really filling."  Her eyes go wide as about to choke.

Total Flamer (politico) - His throat growing, "Too Big !  Too Big !"

No-Bone McDoy (The Lawyer) desperately works his neck to get the growing mass out, while The Rock's google eyes stare at the plate in front of him, maybe.  Hard to say, he's a rock.

Crisis Existential (Miserella's mother) arrives late in a hurry, laden with shopping bags sees their struggle and screams.

Divisible Girl - Becoming many, the lead looks down to the choking version as she falls to the floor.  "Poor dear.  You know what we must do.  

The choker looks up in her struggle and nods.  The lead pulls a blade and slams it into her sternum, cutting and prying until the fallen tree crack of the sternum, cuts out her heart and begins to devour, "We take your soul."

With a primordial roar, they all snap back into one, face covered with blood.  Her face snaps back from the shot to the forehead.  She falls.

The gather around, total flamer burns it off and returns to his truly Fabulous costume.

Crisis Existential - "O My God did she actually die or was that in my head again ?"  She looks at The Rock in her hand, The Rock looks back.

No-Bone McDoy - The sullen music, "She's ... gone."  The screen goes dark, spotlight on The Divisible Corpse.

...

Total Flamer - "Don't you mean ... they ?"

...

They all laugh in the dark.
____________

Organica - Evil smile ... "No-Bone McDoy ... hey Eddie.  We all chipped in.  Gonna need it Mr 'secret identity' ... "  She pulls out a black leather supervillain hood with goggles and gas mask set in.

Eddie - "Holy Shit.  This is cool !"  Puts it on, "Wow."  Hears his altered voice, "wow ... woooowooow ... (now just listening to the sound), "Thanks guys ... this ... is really special."  Takes it off and looks at it with a smile, "But No-Bone.  How ?  Nothing can pierce him, he only keeps stretching."

Alien Agenda - "Space blasters."

They all look at him.

...

Eddie - "Okay so I 'accept your existence' ... you know.  'Aliens are real' and what not but ... do you really call them that ?"

Alien Agenda - "Well.  The toys we do."
____

Ambrose at home, "Mom can I have five X-23 space blasters for Human Greed Day ?"

Alien Mom - "You'll shoot your eye out."

Ambrose - "No ... they're for my human friends so they shoot their eyes out."

Alien Mom - "That's my clever boy ... "
____

Alien Agenda - Drops the crate on the table, "Useless against Total Flamer and Crisis Existential, but McDoy on the other hand ... "

Eddie - Picks up a 50's looking sci-fi blaster ... "They'll burn right through him."

Alien Agenda - "Indeed.  But first you have to check the barrel."

Eddie - "What do you mean ?"  Looks down the barrel then catches himself ... "Ah !"  A laugh ... 

Alien Agenda - "One day I will kill you all, insufferable humans."  Smiles across the emotional table, "But not today."

They cheers to the next scene ~

('Looking Down The Barrel of a Gun' by Beastie Boys)

Walking to the hit while spinning and trying out their shiny new space blasters in the alleys ...

Eddie - "Okay.  We know his body will react intuitively, automatically dodging every shot and threat without him even thinking about it.  These space guns are great ... "

Alien Agenda - "Blasters."

Eddie - "Yeah the space blasters are great but it doesn't matter until we hit him."

Colonel Calibrate - "Cross fire ... "

Eddie - "Exactly.  And we aim for where previous shot makes him go."

Organica - "And that shot makes him go where we want."

Eddie - "Into the next shot."

Organica - "Bring them to the bullet.  You're really very good at this you know.  You need a name."

Eddie - "Like a villain name ?  What are they gonna call me, I'm powerless."

Number Nine - "That's it !  You're Powerless !"

Alien Agenda - "Strangely intimidating ... and very ironic."

Colonel Calibrate - "Screams of madness."

Alien Agenda - "Human madness."

The Minister - "Like a cornered animal."

Organica - "Like if he's there at all he's got something up his sleeve just for you, but you don't know what it is ... got something for me."

Powerless - "My heart on a sleeve."

Number Nine - "He's in love."

Organica - "And I'm an evil temptress."

Powerless - "I really do like this one.  I don't want to fuck it up."

Organica - "One of Nine's victims I think."  Smiles, "Your never do know ... you know.  Just bear it in mind if it all goes awry, and we just might conquer the world together."

Powerless - "Still can."

Number Nine - "He'll hold."

Organica - "Huh.  You were saying ?"

Powerless - Smiles, "I was.  I know about you and Nine ... "  Looks to Calibrate and Agenda, then to The Minister, "While I guess he just makes the mayhem."  

The Minister - "The mayhem almighty."

Powerless - "Looking forward to that."  Back to Alien Agenda and Colonel Calibrate, "But what about you two."

Colonel Calibrate - "Infinite ammo."

Alien Agenda - "General superiority."

Powerless - "No shit ?"

Colonel Calibrate - "No shit."  

Alien Agenda - "Indeed." 

Colonel Calibrate - "One bullet is all I need."

Alien Agenda - "And I in fact do not shit."

Powerless - "Whoa.  That's cool.  Both.  Alright.  Nine, make the call."

Number Nine - "Another hod date in the dirty alleyway ... "  Starts tapping.  "He's a very naughty boy, he likes it like that."  Ringing ... "Plus he's mourning, that always makes him horny."

Organica - "Last time we killed his mother."

Powerless - "Ah."

Number Nine - Into the phone, "Well hellooo you ... I heard about the tragedy and just couldn't stop thinking about how you must be feeling right now. 

"I'm concerned."  

Makes a eye-rolling grotesque face of annoyance while listening to him talk ... Oh yeah.  I'm in your favorite place and mine right now."  Pretends vomit.  "Mm.  Toodles."  Hangs up, "Places."
________

Number nine waits until he hears the whistle echo down the alleyway, a dramatic intonation of 'When Irish eyes are smiling ... '

No-Bone McDoy - Tan trench over his dumb ass costume, seeing only Number Nine.  "I can't believe I'm here again but I think the team really need this right now."

Number Nine - "Me too."  Pulls a space blaster from under his coat, "Now dance."

No-Bone McDoy "What ?"

Number Nine pulls the gun and fires, No-Bone stretches automatically to avoid it, and the alley fills with blasts.

(cut from '2 the 9's' by Prince)

As No-Bone gets more desperate in his involuntary gyrations.  They do as planned.  Shots move him into other shots, they converge as his boogie gets desperate until they start connecting and loading him with holes.

Then down on the ground and exhausted, already dying, he looks around and they're gone.  The grenade bounces to.  

No-Bone McDoy - "Oh fuck me."  And to the after party ...

('Vomit ~ 1926 Edit' by MF Doom)

(the after party)
________________

('Boogie Dracula' by Rob Zombie v Earth Wind and Fire)

Song directly in at 6 minutes (after the intermish), voiced over the open, still dark ~

Number Nine - "Bullets melt, metals melt, plastics ... "

Colonel Calibrate - "Shrapnel ... "

Organica - "I'm literally a plant."

The Minister - "I rain Hell from the Heavens and he walks through it like it's home."

Number Nine - "Nothing.  Total Flamer has only one weakness."

(main music)

All bundled up in the back of an ice cream truck with a tied up driver, Powerless driving while Total Flamer waits at the corner tapping his phone.  They turn the temp down to the lowest.

Total Flamer - Drops into a suburb playing Crossout on his phone, he taps a direct message ~ "you suck at life like this game you should kill yourself."  Evil snicker as he sends it, plays on.

~ They swerve at high speed through the traffic, Ice Cream music jingling while the driver rolls around shivering.

He does a little dance waiting.  Gets mad at what he sees, taps away and says to himself, "SWAT you ... "

~ The truck accelerates down the neighborhood strip, sighted ahead, camera lowers to the kevlar mounted across its front end.  Powerless blasts the jingle music and leans in.

Total Flamer looks up at the ice cream sound, "Ooo !  Ice cream ... "  Looks at his phone, "Bitch !"  Hears the engine roaring high, "Coming in a bit hot ... heh.  Hope the see me ... "  Steps closer to the curb.

The truck hops the curb and splat into an explosion of flame engulfing them, the truck driver nodding with a scared smile (next song immediately on impact).

('By the Time I Get to Arizona' by Public Enemy)

Driving the fireball out of the neighborhood, to the after party with the driver getting showered with money  in the warehouse the, truck still smoking behind while they eat ice cream.